Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
