I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize