Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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