....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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