My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
