Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
