I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
