Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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