my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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