He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
