they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
