Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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