I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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