I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Let's get the cat blown out
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
