It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
