After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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