Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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