It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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