You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize