i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
