Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
