YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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