i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
