Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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