don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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