quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
