so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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