remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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