i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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