make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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