first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
