I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
