idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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