They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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