I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
