I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
