you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
