drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
