they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
