I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
