i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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