Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
PANTIES FOUND
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