I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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