Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
