Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
