I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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