Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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