Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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