His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
