I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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