Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
