im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
