we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize