"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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