Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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