So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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