My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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