I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
