I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
