just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
