I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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