dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
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