you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
