Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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