Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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