they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
