It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
